- Don’t Worry, Be Grumpy
- Cover Page
- Title Page
- Contents
- Preface
- 1. The Container and the Contents
- 2. What We Really Want
- 3. Oh Shit!
- 4. Poo-sitive Reinforcement
- 5. The Politician in the Well
- 6. Camel Face
- 7. The Cracked Mug
- 8. A Tale of Two Chicken Farmers
- 9. Your Photo Album
- 10. Pressing “Delete”
- 11. Good? Bad? Who Knows?
- 12. The Lost Taxi Driver
- 13. There Are No Criminals
- 14. The Stigma of Mental Illness
- 15. Permission to Die
- 16. A Buddhist Joke
- 17. Old Monks Don’t Lie
- 18. The Most Important Finger
- 19. Describing Anxiety
- 20. Kissing Pain Better
- 21. The Tsunami Crocodile
- 22. Honey, I Can’t Find the Kids!
- 23. How a Mousetrap Killed a Chicken, a Pig, and a Cow
- 24. How to Receive Praise
- 25. The Fifteen Seconds of Praise Rule
- 26. The Sandwich Method
- 27. The 70-Percent Rule
- 28. Lower Your Expectations
- 29. Three of My Most Memorable Mistakes
- 30. The Last Question
- 31. The Benefits of Being Blown Up
- 32. Should I? Shouldn’t I?
- 33. Ask Your Dog
- 34. Caring, Not Curing
- 35. Milk and Cookies
- 36. The Guilt of a Salesman
- 37. The Sad Saga of the Suicidal Spider
- 38. The Secret to a Happy Marriage
- 39. Holy Water
- 40. The Dangers of Drunk Driving
- 41. Holy Shit
- 42. The Origin of Materialism
- 43. Kit-Cat
- 44. A Dog’s Retreat
- 45. An Amazing Tale of the Supernatural
- 46. My Own Himalayan Journey
- 47. Someone Is Watching You
- 48. How Another Student Learned to Laugh at Abuse
- 49. Learning from the Experts
- 50. Giving Overcomes Depression
- 51. The Deep Hole
- 52. When Is It Okay to Lie?
- 53. Why We Lie
- 54. Monkey Minds
- 55. Let Go of the Banana
- 56. Mummy, I’m Leaving Home
- 57. Passing over the Horizon
- 58. The Frightened Water Buffalo
- 59. The Case of the Disappearing Harley
- 60. On the Ledge
- 61. My Mother’s Shelf
- 62. Fifty Strokes of the Cat
- 63. The General with the Best Discipline in the Army
- 64. Girlfriend Power
- 65. Twenty Push-Ups Every Morning
- 66. Tummy Wisdom
- 67. The Origin of Stress
- 68. Half a Sheet of Paper
- 69. Dealing with BIG Trouble
- 70. Kissing the Ugly Frog
- 71. How Not to Pray
- 72. The Blind Leading the Blind
- 73. The Bad Elephant
- 74. Hearing Voices
- 75. Monks and Nuns Beating the Odds
- 76. The Miracle
- 77. Divine Intervention
- 78. The Know-It-All
- 79. A Tale of Two Mango Trees
- 80. How to Catch a Mango
- 81. Forbidden Fruit
- 82. The Bully
- 83. Bureaucrat Bullies
- 84. A Boardroom Bully
- 85. I Am Not Good Enough
- 86. I Am Good Enough
- 87. The Answering Machine
- 88. You Have the Right Not to Be Happy
- 89. The Happiness License
- 90. How Much Are You Worth?
- 91. The Power of Silence
- 92. Inner Silence
- 93. When There Is No Silence
- 94. The In-Between Moments
- 95. Are You a Human Being or a Human Going?
- 96. Don’t Worry, Be Hopey
- 97. Being a Visitor, Not an Owner
- 98. Don’t Just Be Mindful, Be Kindful
- 99. Kindfulness When You Are Broke
- 100. Kindfulness and Stillness
- 101. No Fear
- 102. The Coffin
- 103. Kind Ghosts
- 104. Scottish Mist
- 105. Bowing
- 106. God in Buddhism
- 107. The Enlightenment Game
- 108. The Menu
- About Ajahn Brahm
- Other Books by Ajahn Brahm from Wisdom Publications
- Copyright
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1. The Container and the Contents
There were riots in the streets some years ago after a guard at Guantanamo Bay was accused of taking a holy book and flushing it down the toilet.
The next day, I took a call from a local journalist who told me he was writing an article about the outrage by asking leaders of all the major religions in Australia the same question he was about to ask me.
“What would you do, Ajahn Brahm, if someone took a Buddhist holy book and flushed it down your toilet?”
Without hesitation I answered, “Sir, if someone took a Buddhist holy book and flushed it down my toilet, the first thing I would do is call a plumber!”
When the journalist finished laughing, he confided that that was the first sensible answer he had received.
Then I went further.
I explained that someone may blow up many statues of the Buddha, burn down Buddhist temples, or kill Buddhist monks and nuns; they may destroy all this, but I will never allow them to destroy Buddhism. You may flush a holy book down the toilet, but I will never let you flush forgiveness, peace, and compassion down the toilet.
The book is not the religion. Nor is the statue, the building, or the priest. These are only the “containers.”
What does the book teach us? What does the statue represent? 2What qualities are the priests supposed to embody? These are the “contents.”
When we recognize the difference between the container and the contents, then we will preserve the contents even when the container is being destroyed.
We can print more books, build more temples and statues, and even train more monks and nuns, but when we lose our love and respect for others and ourselves and replace it with violence, then the whole religion has gone down the toilet.
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