One way to think about our condition, the human condition of suffering, is to substitute the word problems for suffering. So, we could talk about the first noble truth as the “truth of problems.” What this means is that we are constantly set up for problems and have no real protection to keep them from occurring. Problems, in Buddhist psychology and philosophy, are categorized in multiple ways. For example, there are the eight sufferings, the six sufferings, and the three sufferings. Some of these categories just refer to the difficulties humans face, and some apply to all living beings. They each demand a further explanation of their meaning. For example, in the eight sufferings, two of the eight are somewhat related: the suffering of not getting what one wants and the suffering of being separated from people and things one likes. In conventional thinking, we would not think of these as “suffering.” But in Buddhism, suffering is a state of being in which one is never satisfied. And we constantly strive for events, material things, and relationships where we will be satisfied. We want them to last, but they never do. There is always a mindset of wanting more, and yet we can never have everything we want. So the mind becomes disturbed when we put effort into getting what we want and then are unable to succeed or maintain the “buzz.” This is pretty much a constant struggle. Obviously, this pattern may be stronger in some people, but nonetheless it regularly upsets our equilibrium. We are always wanting and never fulfilled in any long-lasting sense. We have to ask ourselves, with anything we acquire or achieve, How long does the glow last, the buzz, the sense of fulfillment? Typically, we get excited when we think of upgrading our smartphone, and we feel a bit of a buzz when we get it and set it up. Then frustration kicks in when we can’t get apps to load or forget our passwords and can’t quite set it up like our old one. It’s only a short matter of time before it’s just an ordinary tool and we are left with not having achieved the (unconscious) satisfaction we sought. The same dynamic happens when we fall in love. The “honeymoon period” is relatively shortlived, and we spend a lot of effort, even in therapy, trying to either recapture the old feelings or find new ones to sustain the warmth we felt when we fell in love in the beginning. And on and on.
The various categories of suffering are not meant to contradict each other, nor are some to be considered more accurate than others. They are articulated differently for the practitioner to connect with or understand how problems—that is, suffering—work. There is no “right” way to understand them, but there are many wrong ways; when we operate from a faulty philosophy on the causes of happiness and suffering, we are continually led astray. We are, for example, told that if one achieves the American Dream, then that is the fulfillment of this life and the achievement of happiness. But it is not the fulfillment of lasting happiness. We attend college so we can get our “dream” job. Such achievements, while important for a secure life, do little in the achievement of lasting happiness and can, in fact, be more conditions for the pattern of dissatisfaction, problems, and suffering to continue. So we can understand that these categories of suffering are just different ways for each individual to get a sense of our human condition and its dissatisfactoriness or problemness—two words I just made up for this occasion.
"These conditions haunt us endlessly. This is what is meant by the truth of suffering."
So the Buddha presented many ways to help us come to terms with the predicament living beings face: the truth of suffering, the eight sufferings, the six sufferings, the three sufferings. These are all explanations that try to convince us that our existence is problematic. Of course, our existence is not only problematic, for we also possess the key to liberation and lasting fulfillment. But as we live our lives now, and have forever in the past, we have existed in the prison of problems—without even knowing we are in prison. One then has to wonder whether ignorance is bliss: “If I don’t know I’m in prison, then is it so bad?” Anyone who sees the prison that ignorance is, however, in juxtaposition to freedom, would never feel that prison is a better option. It is vital to understand, therefore, that the Buddha’s method is founded in this understanding: psychologically speaking, we will never seek liberation, which is the ultimate well-being, without first accepting that life is hugely problematic and then understanding the causes of those problems. Then, in addition, we need a solid belief in the fact that there is a better way to live. This “better way to live” is put in the context that we exist forever by reincarnating over and over and over again. So while the journey and work to attain liberation may include some temporary hardships, these hardships are nothing when compared to the eternal hardships we endure when sticking with the idea that “ignorance is bliss.”
Some of the sufferings or problems the Buddha wants us to confront are things like the problem of loneliness, the problem of dying, the problem with sickness, the problem with aging, the problem of never being satisfied, the problems that arise when we don’t get what we want and then, on the other hand, when we get what we don’t want—and even when we get what we want, we eventually lose it or our happiness eventually fades. These conditions haunt us endlessly. And while it may seem like these conditions don’t really last, they do repeat themselves over and over and over and over again, ad infinitum. This is what is meant by the truth of suffering.
Why Myths?
There are many ways we try to escape the truth of suffering. In this book, I will take up six of them—what I am calling “myths.” While these myths that we believe may seem to soften the blows of life, they in fact only perpetuate our problems. Why have I chosen the word myth? Myth is another way of saying “inaccurate view.” You could contrast a myth, then, with a fact, like the fact that the earth is round. When you don’t see that the earth is round or believe others who tell you that it is, then you believe the earth is flat. Your belief in that myth does something for you. It provides you comfort even as your ignorance of the fact that the earth is round persists.
The six myths I have chosen to present here inhabit our consciousness twenty-four hours a day, and have done so since the beginning of time—that is, if we believe in reincarnation. If you don’t believe in reincarnation, they have still haunted us since the beginning of this life. Just because you believe in a myth, however, doesn’t mean it is true. For example, one of the myths we will be exploring in this book is the myth of randomness. The opposite of this myth is karma, one of the basic laws promoted through Buddhist thought. For Buddhists, people who don’t accept or “believe in” karma seem strange, the same way we might consider the views of a flat-earther to be strange—a lack of acceptance of basic science.
"The state of calm abiding is a state of clarity and stability."
Calm Abiding
To come to an understanding that the earth is, in fact, round, we might go to space—an expensive and unlikely proposition. You might observe how lunar eclipses show the earth’s circular shadow or read about those ships that have circumnavigated the globe. To penetrate to the heart of any of the six myths we live by, however, we need only go inside, further and further, through the practice of meditation to the state known as “calm abiding.”
The technical definition of calm abiding, or shamatha, as it is known in Sanskrit, is a state of serenity accompanied by physical and mental pliancy and their simultaneous forms of bliss. That’s a bit of a wordy explanation, but it helps to have the exact definition in order to properly unpack the concept and use it correctly. Today in Western societies, as I’ve mentioned, concepts surrounding meditation, mindfulness, mental relaxation, concentrated attention, and so on, are prevalent without being very specific. Various forms of meditation have proliferated: music meditation, nature meditation, breath meditation, movement meditation, transcendental meditation, and so on.
Here, in the Buddhist context, we mean something very specific by shamatha meditation. First, meditation is a tool, not a goal. The goal is calm abiding. When engaging in the development of calm abiding, the meditator, or practitioner, traverses through several preliminary stages before actually attaining the state of calm abiding. The attainment of calm abiding is measured when the meditator can stay on his or her object of meditation without wavering or distraction, without becoming foggy or sleepy or excited, for as long as they want to stay in that concentrated state. Objects include the breath, a visualization, a concept, or an external aid like particular figures or objects that produce a positive effect. In beginning stages of developing calm abiding the statute of the Buddha, for example, is used. It is said that when one can stay one-pointedly on the object of meditation for four hours without wavering, then one can be said to have attained single-pointed concentration. Calm abiding can then be attained, which is a state of mind beyond single-pointed concentration. When the meditator reaches this state, it is accompanied by the attainment of physical and mental pliancy, or bliss—this is the true sign one has achieved calm abiding. Furthermore, it must be understood that the state of calm abiding is a state of clarity and stability. There are other various meditative states where clarity can be achieved without stability, and stability can be attained without clarity. These are not calm abiding, though they may be quite exalted states of mind. Without clarity and stability, we cannot then purely generate the necessary insights and realizations that we wish to attain in our path to complete freedom.
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The truth is you probably believe all sorts of myths, but you don’t even know it. To escape any hardship, any suffering or discomfort, we all believe myths about how the world works and how we live in that world. In 6 Myths We Live By, therapist and long-time Buddhist practitioner Karuna Cayton guides us through six common myths that may give us comfort, but actually only perpetuate our problems, using real-world examples and drawing upon Buddhist principles, psychology, and meditation practices to show how we can wake up to reality.
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